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Mitigating The Effects Of Divorce On Children by Andrew Perry Each year, one million children in the U.S. become children of divorce. About 60% of divorces involve children, and nearly one-fourth of all children under the age of 18 live with a single parent. Research shows that divorce in the 1990's caused children to be more troubled, feel less protected, and less valued. Many children of divorce now enter adulthood as worried, underachieving, angry young men and women. The likelihood of repeating the divorce cycle is also greater. Does An Employer Figure in the Cycle of Healing? The above numbers indicate too many ills to catalogue in these pages, but there is an issue of some interest raised alongside the rising tide of divorces in our country: What role, if any, should the employer play in domestic issues? While this question raises several legal and ethical questions, there are a few opportunities out there, available to employers, which, if nothing, else, may make the sometimes impossible strain of divorce easier on employees. After all, as the very nature of employment changes from one of contracts and salary to one with an environment something closer to family, employers may logically want to reach out to their people in times of need. Getting Children Help As previously mentioned, often the children are the ones most affected and uprooted by divorce. Aside from traditional counseling, schools can play an important role in helping children to process their feelings when parents divorce. School counselors often coordinate and lead small group counseling sessions to offer support. The focus of these groups is to assure these children that everything will work out somehow, that their lives will eventually settle down to some degree, and to let them know that their fellow students have similar concerns and problems. Many children feel responsible in some way for the divorce and try to find ways to get their parents back together. It is the counselor's task to try to help children realize that the divorce has nothing to do with them. Moving Away From the Classroom: What You Can Do In addition to school group programs, employer-sponsored employee assistance programs (EAPs) can help. In fact, 19% of all calls made to one EAP, VMC Behavioral Healthcare, from January through June of this year, dealt with marital and family issues. Most EAPs have counselors available to evaluate children and make recommendations. These recommendations can include short-term EAP counseling if appropriate, longer-term family or individual counseling, or individual counseling outside the EAP. Divorcing employees can also turn to their EAPs for help. The fall-out from a divorce can lead to increased absenteeism, illness, depression, or anxiety. However, EAPs can help to keep these side-effects to a minimum by guiding employees to proper counseling. It's Not the Sort of Benefit That You'd Turn Into A Musical Certainly discussions of this nature are not uplifting or even enjoyable. However, the sad reality is that more and more people are getting divorced, and more and more children are getting caught in the crossfire. You don't have to trumpet your EAP benefits up and down the halls and cubbies of your offices, but you can be of immeasurable help to your employees at a time when they may have no one else to turn to. Publicize your EAP benefits in a careful, caring manner, and make sure you're on the lookout for warning signs from your people. If you don't offer EAP services, then consider adding them to your benefits packages. Being there for an employee in need only enhances the bond between you and your people and supports workforce stability. Andrew Perry, MFA is a former Managing Editor of The Workforce Stability Alert. |
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